| I know no one likes those ranty over-emotional weblogy thingys, but you'll just have to suck it up, bitches.
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of sini central school and I'm tired of feeling like poppycock and I'm tired of being torn and I'm tired of being left behind. BBG problems because of tzofim and tzofim problems because of BBG. Of course I <3 bbg, but sometimes I feel like its not going anywhere. Sometimes I get a very strong gut feeling that no one in BBG is really, really my friend. Like- laugh and hug all you want, but when it gets down to the tough times, I don't think that there is anyone there for me.
It annoys me that I'm a strict non-hypocrite. I have also strongly believe in all or none with friends, and lately that has been a problem. Example: if half of us can't go to that party, I think we should all go to the party we CAN all go to. (my friends don't seem to think so) Another example: After a business meeting, if everyone is going to la fondue and there's no room in the car for me, at least lie to me and tell me that you're all just going home. I mean, what does that mean that you have room for someone else but not for me?
I can't wait to leave. The more I think about, the more I realize how little I'll look back. What do I have, really?
Now, I realize that some of my friends read this and I want you to know that I love you. But I'm also sorry but its not enough, and the only thing that gets me through this is the thought that maybe when I leave it will be better. I'll miss you, sure, but the part I won't admit to your face is I'm amazingly excited to leave, and to leave this all behind.
Peace out A-town. w0rd. |
